This is a random shot, so what gives? Why did this picture make it onto the blog page? Exactly! Why did this picture make it onto my camera and why did it make it onto my iPhoto on my mac at home? That's what I keep asking myself. But, after a year and a half of marriage Jenn has managed to take pictures of me standing next to bears, buffaloes, a sign that says, "taco farm," next to a giant bottle of milk and every other conceivable thing we happen to walk by when we have a camera.
Why do I do it? Why do I subject myself to the torture and humiliation? Because I am married. There is no more explanation than that. Why do I do a lot of the things that I do now that I wouldn't have done a few years ago? Because I am married.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying that in a pejorative sense whatsoever. In fact, what I am saying is quite the opposite. Jennifer gets a kick out of taking pictures with me standing next to random things. If it is odd or bizarre I can guarantee I'll be photographed with it. But in the grand scheme of things that's okay. There are a lot of more difficult things that I could be asked to do than stand by statues of British guards.
I am amazed sometimes at some of the things people tell me. A few months back I was talking to a guy who was considering getting a divorce. I asked him what his complaint was. Now there were several, but one of the issues we talked about for a half hour was the fact that his wife wants to hold his hand and he doesn't like holding hands. He was dead serious. This was a huge issue to him. Personally I couldn't believe it. He was ready to walk away and one of his major complaints is that his wife likes to hold his hand and he doesn't. Give me a break!
I am sure there was more going on than that but this is what he told me was one of the major conflicts. I finally told the guy that he needed to suck it up and be a man. Now that probably wasn't the most pastoral advice I could have given but it was what he needed to hear. Love means that sometimes you do what you might not prefer for the sake of others. Love moves outside of itself in order to show the other person that she is special and valuable to you. You don't like holding hands? Fine, do it anyway. I don't like standing in front of statues but there are worse things in life. And if it brings a smile to Jenn's face, it is worth it.
Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). I think at the very least this means holding her hand if she likes it. Now go over there and stand in front of that stature and let me take a picture.
5 comments:
i have a new dream: i want to live on a taco farm.
i always wonder about people who get themselves into thoses situations. if PDA's really bother him that much, how did he wind up married to her? did they just not go out in public while they were dating? and somehow manage not to talk about it while dating/being engaged?
Sadly, I have found that most guys will "put up" with stuff they don't like dating and consciously or unconsciously will tell themselves they will deal with this after they get married. Too many people go into a relationship saying to themselves, "I will change him/her after we are married." As if walking down the aisle will fundamentally change human character.
Years ago one lady told me, "The problems you have dating will only get more intense once you are married." She then told me that if I couldn't live with them while dating I they would only get worse later. Fortunately I listened to her advice.
I think I know that lady! Wise woman!
I agree, Dave. I contend that one of the main reasons why divorce is so common today is that people in general 1) erroneously expect that they will never find a character flaw in the other person (not really talking about the holding hands thing, but you get my point) and 2) are unwilling to "suck it up and be a man." Great post.
I'm just glad it's you and no longer me...hehe.
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