Dear Friends,
So far it has been a quiet week which I have no complaints about. Jenn and I have been going to the doctor every day and the fluid level has been hovering around the 8 cc range which is permissible. Obviously we would like it to be around 11 cc but we will take what we can get. One good turn of events is that Jenn can go to the triage at Mary Birch Hospital at 9:00 AM on Saturday and Sunday rather than 10:00 AM which means she might be able to be back for church on Sundays.
Additionally I had my physical today and they confirmed that yes, I am still alive. Actually things went really well there. My cholesterol was under 175 with the good cholesterol at almost 50. My blood pressure was 110 over 70 and my BMI was at 23. His advice was too keep working out and don't get fat.
Next month is going to be busy for us. We are going to soon be closing on the property, resurfacing the parking lot, putting new shingles on the roof and having a baby. Since I don't have enough to do I am continuing to take Spanish classes at the community college. I'd hate to see what I would score on a stress test! Well, no use complaining.
Continue to pray for us in the weeks ahead. I will keep you posted as things progress. In the mean time we continue to rest in the goodness of the Lord.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Baby Grace Update - We're Home for Now!
Dear friends,
After an emotionally draining day and a half (it seems like a lot longer) the doctor released Jenn from the hospital shortly after 2:00 PM today. We had another ultrasound that was at 8cc's which agrees with the one that our doctor took yesterday afternoon. This confirms that Grace Rose is not in crisis at the present time.
One other instruction we have is that from now on for the duration of the pregnancy we are going to have an ultrasound every day. This is much better than in patient bed-rest so I am not going to complain. The one drawback is that the doctor wants Jenn to go to the Triage at Mary Birch Hospital at 10:00 AM on the weekends. Yes, Saturday and Sunday. I won't be able to always go with her but even the doctor commented that if you can't be with her what better place to be than at church praying for her. How true.
Thank you so much for your love, encouragements and comments. This has been an emotional time for us but we treasure the love the body of Christ has demonstrated both near and far on our behalf. We have literally had people praying for us around the world day and night.
God's grace is both amazing and sustaining. There have been times where it feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders then we see a glimmer of God's grace and we are reminded that He is sovereign in His power and He is an All-Sufficient God who is able to meet our every need. Many times it has been through the words and expressions of His people, the church.
Soli Deo Gloria
After an emotionally draining day and a half (it seems like a lot longer) the doctor released Jenn from the hospital shortly after 2:00 PM today. We had another ultrasound that was at 8cc's which agrees with the one that our doctor took yesterday afternoon. This confirms that Grace Rose is not in crisis at the present time.
One other instruction we have is that from now on for the duration of the pregnancy we are going to have an ultrasound every day. This is much better than in patient bed-rest so I am not going to complain. The one drawback is that the doctor wants Jenn to go to the Triage at Mary Birch Hospital at 10:00 AM on the weekends. Yes, Saturday and Sunday. I won't be able to always go with her but even the doctor commented that if you can't be with her what better place to be than at church praying for her. How true.
Thank you so much for your love, encouragements and comments. This has been an emotional time for us but we treasure the love the body of Christ has demonstrated both near and far on our behalf. We have literally had people praying for us around the world day and night.
God's grace is both amazing and sustaining. There have been times where it feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders then we see a glimmer of God's grace and we are reminded that He is sovereign in His power and He is an All-Sufficient God who is able to meet our every need. Many times it has been through the words and expressions of His people, the church.
Soli Deo Gloria
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Roller Coaster Ride Continues - Baby Grace Update
The Roller Coaster Continues!
Jenn is staying in the hospital for the time being but there is good news! She was admitted to the hospital after our visit this morning to the doctor's office. About two hours after we got there our regular perinatal doctor, Dr. Catanzarite came in to see us. He was the doctor on call today which was a blessing and a comfort. He is also the resident expert on ultrasounds being both the head of the perinatal office but also teaching classes as well.
We were told we would not have an ultrasound again until tomorrow but he rolled in one of the state of the art machines immediately after he found out we had come in. He did this while being paged to do a C-section. From his measurements the fluid level was up to a safe level being at over 8 while only measuring three pockets of fluid. Had he done a fourth it would have been at least a nine or ten. Minimum acceptable level is 6-11 so we are safely in this zone.
So why are they keeping Jenn for a day or two or three? That's a good question for which I do not have a clear answer. I do know that our doctor wants to play it extremely safe and will take no chances whatsoever. I am sure he will want to make sure that the levels stay up overnight and decide what course of action to take tomorrow. When we went in he was preparing to do a C-section and had already called the cardiac specialists to be on hand if Grace immediately needed a pacemaker.
When we talked with him today it sounded like she would be in there for a couple more days and then we would decide from there. He even hinted that she could stay in there for the duration of the pregnancy if necessary! Yikes! That could be up to eight weeks but we will do whatever we have to in order for Grace to go to full term and be born in good health.
Thank you for your love, prayers and emails. I read each one and it means more than I can express in words to know how much love and support we have.
Jenn is staying in the hospital for the time being but there is good news! She was admitted to the hospital after our visit this morning to the doctor's office. About two hours after we got there our regular perinatal doctor, Dr. Catanzarite came in to see us. He was the doctor on call today which was a blessing and a comfort. He is also the resident expert on ultrasounds being both the head of the perinatal office but also teaching classes as well.
We were told we would not have an ultrasound again until tomorrow but he rolled in one of the state of the art machines immediately after he found out we had come in. He did this while being paged to do a C-section. From his measurements the fluid level was up to a safe level being at over 8 while only measuring three pockets of fluid. Had he done a fourth it would have been at least a nine or ten. Minimum acceptable level is 6-11 so we are safely in this zone.
So why are they keeping Jenn for a day or two or three? That's a good question for which I do not have a clear answer. I do know that our doctor wants to play it extremely safe and will take no chances whatsoever. I am sure he will want to make sure that the levels stay up overnight and decide what course of action to take tomorrow. When we went in he was preparing to do a C-section and had already called the cardiac specialists to be on hand if Grace immediately needed a pacemaker.
When we talked with him today it sounded like she would be in there for a couple more days and then we would decide from there. He even hinted that she could stay in there for the duration of the pregnancy if necessary! Yikes! That could be up to eight weeks but we will do whatever we have to in order for Grace to go to full term and be born in good health.
Thank you for your love, prayers and emails. I read each one and it means more than I can express in words to know how much love and support we have.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Baby Grace Update - August 24 (Hospital Visit)
Just when we thought things were getting back to "normal"... We went in this morning for our regular appointment. We were supposed to start going every day starting this Monday but things had been looking so good the doctor decided to stay on only three times a week for an ultrasound.
One of the critical areas they have been looking at has been the level of the amniotic fluid. It is supposed to be above 11cc in an ideal situation. They are cautious if it drops between 5 and 11. One of the reasons we have been going three times a week is that the fluid level was visibly low even though our readings have been in the 8-11 range. Anything below 5 is dangerous and requires constant observation.
Today our reading was below 5. As I write this Jenn is packing up some clothes for an unplanned hospital stay. They will put her on complete bed rest for the next three days or so in hopes of raising up the fluid level. If the level does not go up they will keep her in the hospital on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. Right now we are at 32+ weeks. A normal pregnancy is 40 weeks and the plan was to have a C-section at around 38 weeks. It is possible that they would do it earlier than that if the baby's life were in danger.
Feel free to drop me an email or leave a note in response to this posting. All the prayers and words of encouragement are greatly appreciated and taken to heart.
One of the critical areas they have been looking at has been the level of the amniotic fluid. It is supposed to be above 11cc in an ideal situation. They are cautious if it drops between 5 and 11. One of the reasons we have been going three times a week is that the fluid level was visibly low even though our readings have been in the 8-11 range. Anything below 5 is dangerous and requires constant observation.
Today our reading was below 5. As I write this Jenn is packing up some clothes for an unplanned hospital stay. They will put her on complete bed rest for the next three days or so in hopes of raising up the fluid level. If the level does not go up they will keep her in the hospital on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. Right now we are at 32+ weeks. A normal pregnancy is 40 weeks and the plan was to have a C-section at around 38 weeks. It is possible that they would do it earlier than that if the baby's life were in danger.
Feel free to drop me an email or leave a note in response to this posting. All the prayers and words of encouragement are greatly appreciated and taken to heart.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Baby Grace Update - August 19
Yeah, another update just two days later. If you didn't read that one go ahead and read it first.
For the last few days Jenn has been experiencing some cramping and other pains due to the pregnancy. She had been continuing to work full time throughout the pregnancy other than a few weeks off following the diagnosis of Grace's heart condition. We decided to go to the doctor again yesterday to check out the pains to make sure it isn't anything more serious. After three hours in the hospital they said things were fine and we could return home.
Today was our normal checkup. We are going every Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Starting next week we were supposed to start going every day. However, things are so stable he said to keep the three a week unless something changes. However, with the addition of the cramping he decided to play it safe and put Jenn on medical leave from her job beginning immediately.
The doctor says we will plan on a C-section at 38 weeks but then added that he will be surprised if we can hold out that long (a normal pregnancy is 40 weeks). In his eyes if we make it to 38 weeks he will be ecstatic. He is not convinced we will make it that long. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if Grace came at any time from now until then. So far so good however. Keep on praying and trusting the Lord.
For the last few days Jenn has been experiencing some cramping and other pains due to the pregnancy. She had been continuing to work full time throughout the pregnancy other than a few weeks off following the diagnosis of Grace's heart condition. We decided to go to the doctor again yesterday to check out the pains to make sure it isn't anything more serious. After three hours in the hospital they said things were fine and we could return home.
Today was our normal checkup. We are going every Monday-Wednesday-Friday. Starting next week we were supposed to start going every day. However, things are so stable he said to keep the three a week unless something changes. However, with the addition of the cramping he decided to play it safe and put Jenn on medical leave from her job beginning immediately.
The doctor says we will plan on a C-section at 38 weeks but then added that he will be surprised if we can hold out that long (a normal pregnancy is 40 weeks). In his eyes if we make it to 38 weeks he will be ecstatic. He is not convinced we will make it that long. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if Grace came at any time from now until then. So far so good however. Keep on praying and trusting the Lord.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Baby Grace Update - August 17
Things continue to progress with the pregnancy. Following this week we will be having daily ultrasounds for the duration of the pregnancy. This will mean office visits each weekday and traveling to Mary Birch Hospital on Saturdays and Sundays. On average an appointment lasts an hour to an hour and a half.
Jenn's fluid has continued to stay in a good range although they are not taking any chances. Each ultrasound includes a biological profile of baby Grace to make sure that everything is stable. It is amazing how "normal" things become in time as you deal with an issue like this. Granted there have been serious stresses throughout the pregnancy, once you begin to deal with the new reality things begin to fall into a new pattern.
We are also scheduled for two more echocardiograms over the next two months and Jenn has weekly OB appointments. To date Jenn has been able to go to work each day with minimum issues. It is my understanding that she will probably go on maternity leave a month before the due date of October 16th. We are meeting with the doctor today and it is possible we will know when we are scheduling the C-section.
There will be an infant heart specialist in attendance as well as our High Risk Pregnancy specialist who will be doing the delivery. Shortly before the surgery Jenn will also be switching to a different anticoagulation medication from the Lovanox shots that she is presently taking twice daily. Once Grace Rose is born we will determine what we need to do to address her heart condition. The doctor said we may have to do nothing for a time or she may immediately need surgery. Inevitably she will need a pacemaker unless the Lord intervenes with immediate, direct healing.
I will continue to keep you posted as things progress and we get closer to the due date. Please feel free to leave posts on this site. If anything changes I will also let you know.
Jenn's fluid has continued to stay in a good range although they are not taking any chances. Each ultrasound includes a biological profile of baby Grace to make sure that everything is stable. It is amazing how "normal" things become in time as you deal with an issue like this. Granted there have been serious stresses throughout the pregnancy, once you begin to deal with the new reality things begin to fall into a new pattern.
We are also scheduled for two more echocardiograms over the next two months and Jenn has weekly OB appointments. To date Jenn has been able to go to work each day with minimum issues. It is my understanding that she will probably go on maternity leave a month before the due date of October 16th. We are meeting with the doctor today and it is possible we will know when we are scheduling the C-section.
There will be an infant heart specialist in attendance as well as our High Risk Pregnancy specialist who will be doing the delivery. Shortly before the surgery Jenn will also be switching to a different anticoagulation medication from the Lovanox shots that she is presently taking twice daily. Once Grace Rose is born we will determine what we need to do to address her heart condition. The doctor said we may have to do nothing for a time or she may immediately need surgery. Inevitably she will need a pacemaker unless the Lord intervenes with immediate, direct healing.
I will continue to keep you posted as things progress and we get closer to the due date. Please feel free to leave posts on this site. If anything changes I will also let you know.
Random Day
It is nice every once in a while to have a random day with no structure and the only intent is on having fun. Yesterday one of my great friends Patrick and I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain outside of L.A. We left my house at 6:30 AM to fight both San Diego and L.A. traffic to make it to northern L.A. for the day.
We stopped at the Denny's just outside the park for breakfast. I had the Meat Lover's Breakfast Slam (also known as the heart attack special). By the way, they do still sell the cheap Original Grand Slam Breakfast for $3.99 but it is written in micro font on the bottom inside of the menu!
After two and a half hours waiting for the first ride called X, I was ready to go home. That by far was the longest line however and it really was worth the wait. I realize if you are nice to the people working there you can ask them for the best seats and they will usually let you have them. You always go on X first because inevitably it breaks down before the end of the day. After that the lines were maybe 45 minutes or so which wasn't too bad.
I think you can cover about every topic known to man in the space of 12 hours standing in line. I know some people who see no value in going to a theme park. In fact, I know a few youth pastors who won't take their groups because they are not "ministry" oriented. What they fail to see is what better way to build relationships and get to know people than being with them for an extended period of time. After a while you get beyond the surface stuff and really began to talk at a deeper level. I've probably had as many life changing conversations at Six Flags as I have in any other setting. Not only that, they get to see that I am just a regular guy who happens to be a pastor.
Beyond that, I think that God wants us to have fun. To some people that may sound like heresy but I think it is absolutely true. I don't understand how people can become so serious and so uptight that they forget how to laugh and enjoy life. People may think I am silly, stupid or immature at times but I'll live with those criticisms and they can live with their ulcers and worry.
Maturity is knowing when to be serious and being able to do so. It is not being uptight and grumpy. But I also think that maturity is being able to look at all the serious things in life and still be able to laugh and remember that most of it really isn't that important. We need to relax and lighten up. Sometimes there is no better way to do that than screaming down a roller coaster at 80 miles an hour.
Let's face it, sometimes you just need a random day.
We stopped at the Denny's just outside the park for breakfast. I had the Meat Lover's Breakfast Slam (also known as the heart attack special). By the way, they do still sell the cheap Original Grand Slam Breakfast for $3.99 but it is written in micro font on the bottom inside of the menu!
After two and a half hours waiting for the first ride called X, I was ready to go home. That by far was the longest line however and it really was worth the wait. I realize if you are nice to the people working there you can ask them for the best seats and they will usually let you have them. You always go on X first because inevitably it breaks down before the end of the day. After that the lines were maybe 45 minutes or so which wasn't too bad.
I think you can cover about every topic known to man in the space of 12 hours standing in line. I know some people who see no value in going to a theme park. In fact, I know a few youth pastors who won't take their groups because they are not "ministry" oriented. What they fail to see is what better way to build relationships and get to know people than being with them for an extended period of time. After a while you get beyond the surface stuff and really began to talk at a deeper level. I've probably had as many life changing conversations at Six Flags as I have in any other setting. Not only that, they get to see that I am just a regular guy who happens to be a pastor.
Beyond that, I think that God wants us to have fun. To some people that may sound like heresy but I think it is absolutely true. I don't understand how people can become so serious and so uptight that they forget how to laugh and enjoy life. People may think I am silly, stupid or immature at times but I'll live with those criticisms and they can live with their ulcers and worry.
Maturity is knowing when to be serious and being able to do so. It is not being uptight and grumpy. But I also think that maturity is being able to look at all the serious things in life and still be able to laugh and remember that most of it really isn't that important. We need to relax and lighten up. Sometimes there is no better way to do that than screaming down a roller coaster at 80 miles an hour.
Let's face it, sometimes you just need a random day.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Baby Grace Update - August 10
Sometimes no news is good news!
Presently we are having three ultrasounds a week and in addition to that an echocardiogram. Yesterday was our fifth echo and the first one in a month. The good news is that there is no news. After viewing the heart for about 45 minutes and measuring the valves things look encouraging. There is some very slight leakage in one of the valves but we saw that the first time we examined the heart and nothing has changed since then. The heart is slightly enlarged due to the heart condition but nothing that concerns the doctors or that will affect Grace long-term.
The amniotic fluid has been slightly low for the last two weeks but is measuring in a safe range. This situation is completely independent of the heart problem. Jenn has been drinking a gallon of water a day, which also includes a quart of Gatorade. Interestingly, the doctor insisted on Gatorade and no other. Maybe he has stock in the company.
Personally Jenn and I continue to bear up under the added stress pretty well. Surprisingly well actually. Going through this process has reminded me “we are not as strong as we think we are.” (To quote the late Rich Mullins) But in the midst of all the things swirling around plus a move, broken foot and the renovation of the church property God continues to give us the strength we need.
If you had told me a year ago all of the things I would be facing simultaneously I would have told you to prepare the padded room because there is no way I’d stay sane. But as I go through everything and find not only the strength to get out of bed and face another day but the encouragement to remain optimistic I am reminded of God’s goodness. We live in a messed up world where baby’s hearts have problems and where bad things happen but we know that God is good all the time. The last two months have reminded me of His goodness in the midst of trials.
By the way, I have set up this blog that anyone can now leave a message. So feel free to drop me a line if you read this post.
Presently we are having three ultrasounds a week and in addition to that an echocardiogram. Yesterday was our fifth echo and the first one in a month. The good news is that there is no news. After viewing the heart for about 45 minutes and measuring the valves things look encouraging. There is some very slight leakage in one of the valves but we saw that the first time we examined the heart and nothing has changed since then. The heart is slightly enlarged due to the heart condition but nothing that concerns the doctors or that will affect Grace long-term.
The amniotic fluid has been slightly low for the last two weeks but is measuring in a safe range. This situation is completely independent of the heart problem. Jenn has been drinking a gallon of water a day, which also includes a quart of Gatorade. Interestingly, the doctor insisted on Gatorade and no other. Maybe he has stock in the company.
Personally Jenn and I continue to bear up under the added stress pretty well. Surprisingly well actually. Going through this process has reminded me “we are not as strong as we think we are.” (To quote the late Rich Mullins) But in the midst of all the things swirling around plus a move, broken foot and the renovation of the church property God continues to give us the strength we need.
If you had told me a year ago all of the things I would be facing simultaneously I would have told you to prepare the padded room because there is no way I’d stay sane. But as I go through everything and find not only the strength to get out of bed and face another day but the encouragement to remain optimistic I am reminded of God’s goodness. We live in a messed up world where baby’s hearts have problems and where bad things happen but we know that God is good all the time. The last two months have reminded me of His goodness in the midst of trials.
By the way, I have set up this blog that anyone can now leave a message. So feel free to drop me a line if you read this post.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Is Loving People the Ultimate Good?
I was talking to a friend earlier this week and we started talking about what is the essence of Christianity. He grew up attending a mainline denomination and had been told that the message of Christianity is to love other people. If he were to sum up the core message it would be to love others. Of course this is a great principle and is definitely something a person ought to do. However, I don’t think this is the first thing.
As we sat in my living room I suggested that the highest goal for a person is to first love God. In fact, if you do not know and love God then your perspective of loving others will be based on emotion and sentimentality. Let me share a story and comment from Jesus to make my point.
The religious leaders of the day were challenging Jesus trying to trap him in His teaching or to contradict the Old Testament at some point. In the heat of discussion one of the leaders asks Him what is the greatest commandment. Jesus answered, “The foremost is, 'HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.'” (Mark 12:29-30)
He then adds this without pause, "The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:31)
This is not an idea that originates with Jesus here in the New Testament. If you turn to the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament (Exodus 20 or Deuteronomy 5) you will see that the first four commandments relate to our relationship with God and the last six deal with our relationships with one another. I believe that the priority of loving God first is important. Loving God gives you the proper basis for loving others. Think of the alternative.
If loving others is the greatest good then I must ask myself what is the greatest good of another? This may seem axiomatic on the surface but it is not. How do I decide what is the greatest good of another person? Without a fixed reference point I am left to my own feelings or thoughts or else the feelings and thoughts of others. Perhaps the greatest good is to make the other person happy. Well, what if that person’s happiness involves injuring himself or others? Perhaps the greatest good is contentment but what if that person is only content with heroin running through her veins? Maybe I am using hyperbole here but there is an underlying issue, how does one determine what is right or wrong, good or bad for others? Does loving others mean always giving in or giving him what he wants? Do I then decide what it means to love others based on what the majority thinks?
If Christianity were only about loving others we would be blindly stabbing around in the dark. It is only by knowing and loving God that we both have an understanding of what it means to love others and the true ability to do that to the full. When I entered into a love relationship with God by accepting His love and forgiveness through the death of Jesus I begin a daily love relationship. Furthermore, as I continue in that relationship I understand more fully who God is and the moral order of the universe. Since He is the Creator He has the right to establish what is right and wrong. He has the prerogative to determine how things out to be and how we ought to live out our lives. Since He created us He knows what is best for our lives. The greatest good then is living in line with God’s standards.
The more I love God and know Him the greater understanding I will have for how things ought to be. I then have the ability to love others based on what is truly best rather than what is best in my own eyes. If someone is making a choice that is self destructive or harmful to others I am showing love, not by going along with it, but by challenging him with the error of his choice.
This is why Christians are sometimes viewed as narrow and bigoted. Our culture says that love means allowing people to think, feel or experience anything regardless of the moral consequences (some will add “as longs as it doesn’t hurt others"). For the Christian, the truly loving thing to do is to help a person make choices that are in line with what is pleasing to God. From the Christian’s perspective true love at times needs to speak up. If I truly love someone how can I say nothing while he makes choices that are going to hurt him now or sometime in the future? How can I say nothing if she is going to make a choice which hurts someone else? Our choices have unintended consequences that we don’t always see immediately.
It is possible to “love the sinner and hate the sin.” Granted some Christians don’t do this well or at all but that is not my point here. I can love a person with the deepest of love and have the deepest dislike for the choices he or she is making. Loving people does not mean I have to compromise my beliefs or set aside my morals. In fact, the greatest example of this was Jesus who was the holiest man who walked this earth yet was regarded as the “friend of sinners.” Never did He compromise but no greater love was ever shown.
What are the practical implications of this? First, I think that for the Christian he must first love God in order to love others rightly. If your only focus is on the horizontal you will end up feeling you have to accept their behavior in order to truly “love” them. Second, love for people divorced from love for God will degenerate to sentimentalism and some form of situation ethics. Having said this you need to ask yourself, how well do you know God? Do you really love Him with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength? When you do this you are able to love others truly like Christ did.
I asked this friend, “Have you ever felt that I have judged you?” “No,” he responded. “Well, do you know that I love you and that you are one of my best friends?” “Yeah, of course,” he said. “But you know that I don’t agree with a lot of things that you are doing?” Again he said yes. I looked him in the eye and said, “This is what I believe the Bible means about loving God and loving others.”
As we sat in my living room I suggested that the highest goal for a person is to first love God. In fact, if you do not know and love God then your perspective of loving others will be based on emotion and sentimentality. Let me share a story and comment from Jesus to make my point.
The religious leaders of the day were challenging Jesus trying to trap him in His teaching or to contradict the Old Testament at some point. In the heat of discussion one of the leaders asks Him what is the greatest commandment. Jesus answered, “The foremost is, 'HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.'” (Mark 12:29-30)
He then adds this without pause, "The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:31)
This is not an idea that originates with Jesus here in the New Testament. If you turn to the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament (Exodus 20 or Deuteronomy 5) you will see that the first four commandments relate to our relationship with God and the last six deal with our relationships with one another. I believe that the priority of loving God first is important. Loving God gives you the proper basis for loving others. Think of the alternative.
If loving others is the greatest good then I must ask myself what is the greatest good of another? This may seem axiomatic on the surface but it is not. How do I decide what is the greatest good of another person? Without a fixed reference point I am left to my own feelings or thoughts or else the feelings and thoughts of others. Perhaps the greatest good is to make the other person happy. Well, what if that person’s happiness involves injuring himself or others? Perhaps the greatest good is contentment but what if that person is only content with heroin running through her veins? Maybe I am using hyperbole here but there is an underlying issue, how does one determine what is right or wrong, good or bad for others? Does loving others mean always giving in or giving him what he wants? Do I then decide what it means to love others based on what the majority thinks?
If Christianity were only about loving others we would be blindly stabbing around in the dark. It is only by knowing and loving God that we both have an understanding of what it means to love others and the true ability to do that to the full. When I entered into a love relationship with God by accepting His love and forgiveness through the death of Jesus I begin a daily love relationship. Furthermore, as I continue in that relationship I understand more fully who God is and the moral order of the universe. Since He is the Creator He has the right to establish what is right and wrong. He has the prerogative to determine how things out to be and how we ought to live out our lives. Since He created us He knows what is best for our lives. The greatest good then is living in line with God’s standards.
The more I love God and know Him the greater understanding I will have for how things ought to be. I then have the ability to love others based on what is truly best rather than what is best in my own eyes. If someone is making a choice that is self destructive or harmful to others I am showing love, not by going along with it, but by challenging him with the error of his choice.
This is why Christians are sometimes viewed as narrow and bigoted. Our culture says that love means allowing people to think, feel or experience anything regardless of the moral consequences (some will add “as longs as it doesn’t hurt others"). For the Christian, the truly loving thing to do is to help a person make choices that are in line with what is pleasing to God. From the Christian’s perspective true love at times needs to speak up. If I truly love someone how can I say nothing while he makes choices that are going to hurt him now or sometime in the future? How can I say nothing if she is going to make a choice which hurts someone else? Our choices have unintended consequences that we don’t always see immediately.
It is possible to “love the sinner and hate the sin.” Granted some Christians don’t do this well or at all but that is not my point here. I can love a person with the deepest of love and have the deepest dislike for the choices he or she is making. Loving people does not mean I have to compromise my beliefs or set aside my morals. In fact, the greatest example of this was Jesus who was the holiest man who walked this earth yet was regarded as the “friend of sinners.” Never did He compromise but no greater love was ever shown.
What are the practical implications of this? First, I think that for the Christian he must first love God in order to love others rightly. If your only focus is on the horizontal you will end up feeling you have to accept their behavior in order to truly “love” them. Second, love for people divorced from love for God will degenerate to sentimentalism and some form of situation ethics. Having said this you need to ask yourself, how well do you know God? Do you really love Him with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength? When you do this you are able to love others truly like Christ did.
I asked this friend, “Have you ever felt that I have judged you?” “No,” he responded. “Well, do you know that I love you and that you are one of my best friends?” “Yeah, of course,” he said. “But you know that I don’t agree with a lot of things that you are doing?” Again he said yes. I looked him in the eye and said, “This is what I believe the Bible means about loving God and loving others.”
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Baby Grace Update - August 2
Dear Friends,
Things are continuing to move forward with the pregnancy but every day offers a new challenge and a new area of concern. If you have been following along so far in the pregnancy you are aware of the blood condition that Jenn has that means she must give herself injections twice a day. This is to prevent blood clots from occurring which is something that has happened in the past. She is prone to clotting and the risk increases with pregnancy. Additionally we have had to deal with the complete heart blockage of Grace starting at 19 weeks. About a week and a half ago the fluid level became low which is also a reason for concern. Because of this they bumped up our doctor's appointments and ultrasounds to three times a week.
On Sunday Jenn was having a hard time feeling the baby move so we decided to go to the triage at Mary Birch Hospital. Fortunately our doctor was on call that day and in the hospital. He was able to come over and do the ultrasound and reassure us that everything was still stable. He suggested that we come in every day (seven days a week) for an ultrasound from now until the baby is born in October. After discussing this between ourselves we decided that we would stay on three ultrasounds a week until we hit the 32 week point. At that point the doctor said he would require it. We are at 29 weeks as of Sunday so we are only talking about two weeks anyway.
This has not been a normal pregnancy from the start but it has increasingly caused stress as the weeks have progressed. We are doing everything we can to make sure that Grace stays healthy and is born with the best chance of thriving. The doctors tell us right now that the heart condition should not really interfere in her having a completely normal life and that she should be able to do what any other child can do. Of course, at some time she is going to have to have a pacemaker put in but we won't decide that until after she is born. Some children do well with her condition and can go months or even years without one while others have one put in almost immediately.
Overall I think that Jenn and I are holding up well under the added stress. This stress is in addition to the normal stress of being a full time pastor dealing with issue as they come up and also moving into a new house a few weeks ago. Of course, if you throw in a major injury in the mix in addition to everything else I think that I am probably off the stress chart. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it wasn't for my faith, family and friends. Thank you for your love and encouragement! Feel free to write or call as you feel led.
Things are continuing to move forward with the pregnancy but every day offers a new challenge and a new area of concern. If you have been following along so far in the pregnancy you are aware of the blood condition that Jenn has that means she must give herself injections twice a day. This is to prevent blood clots from occurring which is something that has happened in the past. She is prone to clotting and the risk increases with pregnancy. Additionally we have had to deal with the complete heart blockage of Grace starting at 19 weeks. About a week and a half ago the fluid level became low which is also a reason for concern. Because of this they bumped up our doctor's appointments and ultrasounds to three times a week.
On Sunday Jenn was having a hard time feeling the baby move so we decided to go to the triage at Mary Birch Hospital. Fortunately our doctor was on call that day and in the hospital. He was able to come over and do the ultrasound and reassure us that everything was still stable. He suggested that we come in every day (seven days a week) for an ultrasound from now until the baby is born in October. After discussing this between ourselves we decided that we would stay on three ultrasounds a week until we hit the 32 week point. At that point the doctor said he would require it. We are at 29 weeks as of Sunday so we are only talking about two weeks anyway.
This has not been a normal pregnancy from the start but it has increasingly caused stress as the weeks have progressed. We are doing everything we can to make sure that Grace stays healthy and is born with the best chance of thriving. The doctors tell us right now that the heart condition should not really interfere in her having a completely normal life and that she should be able to do what any other child can do. Of course, at some time she is going to have to have a pacemaker put in but we won't decide that until after she is born. Some children do well with her condition and can go months or even years without one while others have one put in almost immediately.
Overall I think that Jenn and I are holding up well under the added stress. This stress is in addition to the normal stress of being a full time pastor dealing with issue as they come up and also moving into a new house a few weeks ago. Of course, if you throw in a major injury in the mix in addition to everything else I think that I am probably off the stress chart. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it wasn't for my faith, family and friends. Thank you for your love and encouragement! Feel free to write or call as you feel led.
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